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i rock your socks |
Reach for the stars
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009
recollection - young adult
1:49 PM
 Every other thing became a blur then. Ouh yah..i hvnt added on emon onto my story. My urm precious iritating lil sister was born when i was urmm 8yrs old..? I was fascinated with her when she was born but the fascination stop when she started to be iritating! hahahaha..After mon was born and the family became stable, i more or less was on my own...in my own world surrounded by tv n books (but mind you my english still sucks big time) and she on her own...sad isn't it...?? I think it is sad..cos i miss those moments when i cud just disturb her silly n she cant retaliate..ryte ryte.. heee =) but truly i find it sad that i minded my own business instead of socialising with my siblings! =\ ..ok back to before and after O's result... I guess life was all about experimenting. Surprisingly i was given the green light to do part-time job before result were release n before i even knew what the future might held for me. I realise then that i miss sec days, money was good but staying home is even better. Well what can i do if i like to laze arnd...?? But the one sweet thing that happen then is that i met my ex-bf for the very first time after 2yrs of being frends. Farnie how one would smile thinkin abt their first love but sadly for me, the first love nvr did blossom into something more but i'm glad that i was his gal once upon a time then... Result received, entry to NYP accepted and bla bla bla, everything was quite routine and mundane then..until term started..then a new life began. Poly was great not as great as sec sch days but nonetheless i learn new stuff, i met new frends and manage to pursue my passion (even for awhile). During poly, my life evolve solely on d ex and tarian. Everything else was secondary to me. I was denied to join malay dance during my sec sch days due to donnoe what reason la..as u noe certain malays are just iritatingly malays if you know what i mean. So when i manage to join tarian in poly, i was like one crazy tarian addict..nak joget ajer.. =)    And i think i push my way thru to be accepted in the grp until i flunk one paper. When that happen, i was so scared and i made a promise to myself that never shall i ignore my studies again, i was determine to juggle tarian and studies and alhamdulilah, everything was a-ok from then on. my very own parrot amos..!   Ouh and during poly days were went hakim came to my family..ahh the lil bundle of joy. Being the possesive me, i din't allow my mom to take care of him and i cudnt bring myself to sayang him back then cos i fear that my mom wun love me anymore!! I noe i noe..at such age, shameful kan..but then i cudnt resist him..how too when his scent start to fill the hse, i just cudn't resist him..and he became part of the family, the family baby...my baby =) I met ppl whom taught me so many things, there were nice n mean bunch of ppl but mostly my frends were the nice one. Lucky for me i met ben and gang for guiding me thru and constantly pushing me forward. And along the way i met 3 wonderful girls. Cos classes got mix and i was the only person who joined their grp. Ouh well i was d lost ugly duckling all over again. WHY you say..? Cause back in poly i only dressed myself in bermudas, slipper/sandal and $5McBlue t-shirt..and the rest were so trendy in their own way...but nontheless the 3girls took to me anw..( i think..i hope :p ) Attachment, BBQ, Hari Raya outing..lagi aper..?? hahaha...all 3girls haf different impact on my life. Teh the rational one, tam the crazy bubbly girl and siti the cool chick. One point or another i managed to work with them..from attachment, tarian and class activities. And it was fun..so kewl kan back then..and i am super thankful that i was booted out to their class, if not how else can i meet this 3 beautiful ppl...??     In between poly life, relationship had its ups and downs and it went rock bottom towards my final year. Maybe i was young then, maybe i was wild then that's why i let the relationship go?? Don't get me wrong, not that i regret ending the relationship, i only regretted how it ended cause i was the mean person, i played him out and i hurt him. That is the only thing i regret cos things could be resolve amicably ryte? But the one thing that i didn't regret is love..i found him back then..or was it actually we found each other...?? =) ......tbc Monday, October 19, 2009
recollection - growing up
9:21 AM
  Growing up i rmbr snippets of how life was like. Some was good and some was bad but still i'm thankful and grateful to my parents for taking care of me n bringing me up. As a child i was an introvert but yet one who crave for attention, n i do love attention..well who doesnt kan?.. And I'm a super possesive child. What is mine is only mine and i do not like to share wads mine wif others. I will either fight for what is mine or i will detached myself from it. Maybe being the baby in d family for 8 years made me possessive...?? My parents worked hard for the family, to live in comfort they've work super super hard. There were nights when it was just me n my bro looking after each other before mon mon was born..Life wasn't easy back then. No we were not living in poverty but we were not well off either.. In school i was the ugly duckling and no brains to boot..!! hahaa..but yah i did hang with a cool bunch of people. Can you believe that they protected me?? Hahhaaa...kewl kan..so noone can bully me back then!! And with them i start to exposed myself with music n dance..life were so simple and innocent..and i missed those times when you noe nuthing and nuthing affects you...   I grew up wif tv, books and family. And back then Orchard road, Billabong etc.. all sounded foreign.. Nah i'm not ashamed to say i grew up wif cartoons and mom still sent me to school even when i'm in sec1 and she tied my hair into plaits and that i wore casper bag when i was in sec 1. Ouh did i get all the attention then..but all for the wrong reason. Ppl were mean to me back then, lafing at me, finding fault with me and one senior even manage to slap me..!! Yah..and i din retaliate..thinkin back now, i wished i was a stronger me n retaliate back and slap the hell out of her back..stupid piece of shit that person was..but i noe, me being me..i cud never bring myself to fight back..and i think i will just cry..as always :) I think i have the word 'bully me' written all over my face ..psl since young asyik kena bully...?? But sec sch days carry such sweet memory, thinking back mmg sumer lame la..but i found my BF there..! We were never on good terms to begin with and i think i pulled her away from her own BF?? Hahahaha...i was meannnnn..but i dun like to share remember..?? What is mine remain mine..forever :) And one way or another joy indirectly taught me about stuff and she even matchmake me to her frends..!! Unfortunately neither lasted..joy have always been there for me and in a way she knew me well enough to know when i'm crazy, happy or sad.. =) We went cycling together ( i bully her into riding the obit one..!!) hahaa...and learn to roller blade ( and i spoil her blades..!!) hahaha...sorry bubu!!! we fought, I CRY and we became BF all over again.. I noe, such a BF is very hard to come by and i am thankful that our path crossed and that she is MY BF..! MINE..all MINE..!! hahahaha...  Remember when i say i got no brains..? And i mean it..i was a normal academic student, fooling arnd most of the time, copy exams, escaping class, fighting and failing most of d exams so i didn't expect myself to go far..didn't know that i have it inside me. So yesh i dun have that confidence..but then when i passed my O's..i realised that i'm not that dumb after all..and that i don't have to get married if i fail my exams..!! I think mama ugut really work, Cos she kept saying kalau fail nanti mak kasi kawin..!!! HAHAHAHA....cos then only did i try a little bit harder to excel.. And only Allah noe how i felt when Mr Kumar said ..congratulations And for once in my life, i think i manage to make my parents proud of me... And the happiness can be felt till today.... =') ....tbc Thursday, October 15, 2009
my story
5:42 PM
every one have their own story to telland i have mine too.. i have to really start my story before i forget it all together but then again memories are meant to stay.. forever =) hiLarious
3:56 PM
This is super farnie...this video make my day =) Click here if you can't view the video =)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
grey
5:18 PM
 there is someone inside my head who keeps going bonk bonk bonk
and it hurts =\ haizzz.... Tuesday, October 13, 2009
miss
4:50 PM
.imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily.
.imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily. .imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily. .imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily. .imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily. .imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily. .imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily. .imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily. .imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily. .imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily..imissmyfamily. grows
11:09 AM
I cant deny that i grumbleI can't deny that i complain But i know through this misfortune, it only make me cherish love more .. the love didnt even diminish infact it just cont to grow stronger than before =) I love you Muhammad Dzuhri Bin Juniwan even more than before even more than u'll ever know :') Thursday, October 8, 2009
handicap
11:19 AM
Sometimes when one is worried, i guess they should really not brush it aside..On Tuesday, i salam love with such sadness, with such worry as if that day were the last that i will get to see him.. i was so sad and scared... but love brush it off aside when i told him, that its nuthin and we will c each other again at night i took comfort at his words.. little did i expect that something did happen to him... true it's just a fracture, and i'm thankful that it's only a fracture but seeing his pain.. i just can't bear it.. and i feel so helpless to just seat by and watch him suffer silently.. i wish i were the one going thru the pain n he is spared from all this.. :'( mishap after mishap... i hope n pray that all this will go away... and that love will heal soon... ..so ryte now all i can do for love is to be there for him and too really care for him... so manja.. kalahkan kita yg sakit.. :) but its ok sayang..manja all you want.. tapi tak bleh selalu ok...?? i jer yg bleh manja 24/7.. heee .... :) Get well soon love.. I shall pray for your speedy recovery *muackz* Friday, October 2, 2009
season
10:15 AM
 It seems frends n family arnd me are all having a baby..!! Its good news after good news wham bham..! and i am super happy for all cos i noe that all of them have been trying real hard and never haf i felt so much happiness when i heard such news... its just recently, since i'm married that i get all teary eyed when i hear of such news.. hahaa..cry-baby me... and i think MIL is indirectly asking for one too! if only it was that easy... But then again this is normal la... bila kawan orng bertanya.. bila nak tunang..? bila da tunang orng bertanya.. bila nak kawin...? bila da kawin plak..orng bertanya... bila nak dokong anak...?? insya'allah...doakan ajer yer..? =) p.s: i noe im not planning to have one anytime soon, but i can still yearn for it ryte...? Monday, September 28, 2009
sensitive
9:33 AM
sometimes i find myself caring too muchi feel like an outsider to even myself.. so wad else is new -_- Wednesday, September 23, 2009
syawal
12:47 PM
Semua orang bertanya, so how first raya as husband n wife…? Sejauh ini penatnyer saje yg lebih…! Hahaa.. Cuma satu perbezaan sahaja yg nyata.. Inilah buat pertama kalinya ku menunaikan solat aidilfitri bersama suami tercinta Dan buat pertama kalinya sepanjang hayat umur ku, Ku menjejakkan kaki ku ke rumah allah di pagi raya.. Sayu rasanya pabila terdengar takbir raya Dan buat seketika ku bersujud syukur, Kerana dipanjangkan hayatku utk menyambut raya bersama insan tercinta Tertanya ku sendiri, mungkinkah ku dpt berjumpa ramadhan di tahun hadapan…?
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir & Batin
Thursday, September 17, 2009
crazy session
4:06 PM
Had fun with bubu n emoncraving all checked! and crazy moments at fountain of recycled water =) ratings: SUPER FANTASTIC! i'm one happy lady =) i siriusly love doing this! thank you mon for being sporting!! hahaha  ah yesh..just the three of us =)  and yesh..my new look for raya which is partially concealed! =)  Tuesday, September 15, 2009
hurt
10:20 AM
I noe that i am a dissappointment to many..you dun haf to keep rubbing it in must i keep quiet if i think i'm right if everyone is entitle to their own tots n beliefs then why arent i entitled to mine? In many ways that you think that i am stubborn that i am emotional that i am egoistic that i am uptight abt stuff dun deny that you too are guilty of such things i am not a doll i am a human being after all wif feelings and needs sometimes i really feel like running away from everyone.. to a place whr i wun b known as someone who keep dissappointing others tired tired tired i haf many flaws.. but so do you.. Thursday, September 10, 2009
hair
10:02 AM
i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hair i'm gonna cut my hairI am so gonna cut my hair AGAIN! yesh!!
Friday, September 4, 2009
asl
4:37 PM
aku da tau tapi masih nak buat. buat sakit hati. bencila tau BENCI tak!!!!! aku penat PENAT!! wadevala..treat me like im transparentfyne do that n c if i care blardy hell la. supper blardy hell.. LEJ(O&#@(^$&)* UIJOJE(o&dy(&^d()*_**(idk_)_d+) i hate my life shud just die easy end of story fuck Wednesday, September 2, 2009
sleep
9:05 AM
Ok i noe my hobby is to sleep..but kan nie bulan puasa is like from bad to worst gitu..its like 24/7 sleepy..haiz..i wish i can take leave just so that i can stay home and catch some sleep.. i miss my pillow already :( Tuesday, September 1, 2009
too much
10:57 AM
i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much i think too muchi think too much i think too much i think too much i think too much
Friday, August 28, 2009
in d air
11:53 AM
When love is in the air..you just can't help but smile with every lil steps that u take.. And yesh..weekend is finally here! where i get to spent more time with love and also when i get to see my family..!! =) And for today, i'm just grateful to be given another day to appreciate your wonderful glory. Thursday, August 27, 2009
nervous
1:27 PM
I need to tackle this one problem out of the so many that i'm aware of.
My nervousness.. I may be loud at times, do stupid stuff... but trust me, at work i am one super different person n i think.. i need to build up my confidence level if not.. then how...?? sure die.. die! Wednesday, August 26, 2009
If only
9:46 AM
sometimes, just sometimes i wish things is a little bit different..
Monday, August 24, 2009
assignment
4:00 PM
I have an assignment due this wednesday and i've yet to start working on it. It's bad enuf that i flunk the first one, and here i am still able to blog!!! I am so d-e-a-d! Anyway i was googling for some insight on the assignment when i chance upon the page. Well not reallyla, since its part of my assignment requirement...bla bla blaa...anywayyyyy....I think i totally forgotten about this.. i quote '... they forget their own unique blueprint, and try to use someone else's blueprint...' i find it totally true for my case, i think...?? or am i wrong..?? And now i wonder am i really me or am i just using someone else's blueprint.. a thinker just can't stop thinking.. sighh~ Friday, August 21, 2009
like old times
9:58 AM
Yesterday was like one of the rare times that i really had fun and was worry-free. I skip lesson just for love. Can you believe that my life have been so busy that we've yet to really go out like normal couples. True we are now married and see each other almost everyday but even a plant if not watered will eventually withered ryte, so yup..i plan the 'date' and love was surprise n loves the idea.We watch The Proposal n truly i lurve it. I hope i just laft and not ended up snorting cos certain scenes are just hilarious. And love lurves it too. We both agreed that we had fun. And the night ended to soon for my liking. We talk, we laft and we beat each other (bukan pukul bantai eh..just some shoving n pushing.. hehee) ...looking at us, ppl might think we are crazy or even perhaps..two people happily in love with each other. And only up till today did i realise that really really the tiniest effort do matter. Just need to loosen up a bit and not burrow oneself too deep in oneself problem..but sumtimes even if i don't want to burrow myself too deep, i just find it hard...i'm too much a thinker to even begin with..and i guess that is my weakness, but a weakness can be overcome yes no..?? i will try..i hope..=) For now..i shall let the day pass and smile with contendment |
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